Season Premiere: Jack’s back and Tony’s bad!
24 is officially back! The seventh season premiered its first two hours last night and Jack’s already expanding his kill count. Tony Almeida is reborn as a villain and is in Jack’s custody before you can say “Mole!”
So what was awesome? What was not awesome? What was so unawesome that it was awesome? Keep reading below and we’ll tell you the 24 things we loved and hated!
Things We Loved
1. Two-Time Tony: Good guy or bad, we’re just happy to see Carlos Bernard back on the show, even if he looks absolutely horrible with that ridiculous haircut.
2. Audrey with a Badge: Annie Wersching as Renee Walker proves to be the single best female lead the show has seen since Nina Myers. Here’s hoping she lasts longer than Teri.
3. The Opening: It’s hard to top the assassination of David Palmer, but this season’s opening abduction sequence was pretty top notch.
4. Hilarious FBI Newbie: How awful was that scene where the FBI rookie tells Jack that he believes in him? So awful that it’s totally awesome.
5. That Scarred-Up Guy From Gladiator: Everything is always better when actor Tommy Flanagan is in the mix. Too bad he survived for all of five minutes.
6. Patriot Games: It’s cool to see the show set entirely in Washington, D.C., though the odds of Jack and Tony being there on the same day are a little convenient — unless, of course, that’s all part of Tony’s plan.
7. Bootstrap’s Boostraps: Jack identifying the sniper based on his out-of-place Timberlands was an excellent reminder of just how good Bauer is at his job.
8. Torture Fetish: Gotta love how Jack just wants to torture dudes. “Renee, he might not be willing to talk… you realize I’m gonna have to torture this sucker, right?” He didn’t say it quite like that, but the line “I’m gonna enjoy this” pretty much hit home that Jack’s a twisted guy.
9. Silenced But Deadly: Jack’s makeshift silencer was totally rad. MacGuyver, eat your heart out. (MacGruber, you can stay.)
10. Body Armor: Before they raid the docks, Jack walks in with a human hostage. When the gunfire starts, it’s clear that the only reason he brought this guy along was to use him as human shield. Man, is he ruthless. And by ruthless, we mean dreamy.
11. Red Foreman: Kurtwood Smith comes back to Fox, basically playing a well-respected version of Red from That ’70s Show. He also continues the Robocop legacy running three seasons in a row, previously established by Peter Weller and Paul McCrane.
12. He’s Going to Eat You Alive: The very best thing about the new season? Colm Feore as First Man Henry Taylor. Yeah, that seems a little random, but have you seen Feore in The Storm of the Century? He is an absolute maniac in that telefilm. (See below.) In fact, he’s almost always a maniac, and Henry Taylor looks a bit unbalanced as well. Even though he’s wrapped up in one of 24‘s typically lame subplots, here’s hoping that his story ties into the broader scheme before long.
Things We Hated:
1. Worthless Change of Agency: Well done, 24. You replace CTU with the FBI. Made a huuuge difference. No, really, you can totally tell how much better organized these dudes are. Except…
2. Holy Mole-y: …there’s already a mole in the FBI? Are you kidding? Guess you can take the show out of Los Angeles, but you can’t take the standard idiot procedures out of the show. Or something like that.
3. Clear and President Danger: Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones) is alright. Just okay. She’s pretty bland, doesn’t really do anything special. Maybe she’ll develop more as we go along, but she’s just another face in a suit as far as we can tell so far.
4. Shawshank’d: Get ready to use that term when it’s revealed that Bob Gunton’s Ethan Kanin is a baddie. As in, “Whoa, it’s that warden from The Shawshank Redemption and he’s totally secretly evil! You just got Shawshank’d!”
5. Political Persuasion: Further confusion about Gunton’s character. Wasn’t he the Secretary of Defense under Wayne Palmer in season six? But now he’s the chief of staff under Allison Taylor, who is assumedly from a different political party than Wayne? 24 loves that sorta thing. (See: Mike Novick as both Palmer and Logan’s chief of staff.)
6. Band of Brothers Guy: It’s good to see Bill Guarnere back in action, but after seeing his character on Band of Brothers, it’s kinda weird to see him as a high-ranking official that scores meetings with the prez. Not great casting.
7. Throwing the Fight: Back in season two, Jack and Tony were supposed to have a huge fight. Then Carlos Bernard broke his ankle and they had to work that into the show. We finally get a real brawl between Almeida and Bauer, and it takes all of 10 seconds. Really? Really?
8. Son of a Gitch: Secret Service agent Gitch is a real jerkwad. He’s supposed to have Henry Taylor’s back, but then he rats him out to the president. Where’s your loyalty, man? Bro’s before ho’s and all that?
9. Computer Hacking Skills: Renee is super cool, but that scene with her trying to prevent the computer from deleting all its files was awful. She didn’t even try. Pathetic.
10. What About Bill?: Forget Chloe, where the heck is Bill Buchanan (James Morrison)? He’s supposed to show up this season, but already skipped out on two episodes. Buchanan is one of the better characters on the show, and we want him now! Side note: when Bill does show up, look out for his huge man crush on Bauer. Seriously, Bill hearts Jack super hard. It’s hilarious.
11. Shot Down: The whole “sniper shoots the suspect before he can talk” is so typical 24. C’mon, guys, can’t you come up with some new cliffhangers?
12. Janeane Garofalo: Listen, you’re awesome. Wet Hot American Summer? Oh yeah. But please, get off the show soon. One Chloe is more than enough.
Join us for another 24 Things I Hate/Love About 24 tomorrow! More love, more hate, but mostly love!
…and hate!
