The season premiere event concludes!
It’s hard to believe that I’m saying this, but 24 is awesome again. Anyone watching last night’s two hours can agree that while some twists were definitely predictable, there were more than enough shockers to keep that heiny glued to the couch. The words “Deep Sky” will forever signify one of the best surprises in the show’s history — assuming, that is, they can keep up the suspense. After all, there’s still 20 episodes to go.
So keep on reading to find out what’s good, what’s bad and what’s fugly about the latest installments of 24!
Things I Loved
1. Manboobage: How does Tony Almeida shake the nickname “Soul Patch?” Not by growing a goatee, but by showing off those man-boobies to Janeane Garofalo during the interrogation scene. Gotta love a man(boob) with confidence. He really is the man… boobs.
2. Lost Actors: The supporting African cast is pretty awesome, if for no other reason than their double-duty status as 24 and Lost alums. Villainous Dubaku was seen on the ABC hit show antagonizing Mr. Eko back in season three, while the Sengalan prime minister’s bodyguard played Eko’s brother Yemi.
3. Harsh Words: After more than a full season of the silent treatment, it was fantastic watching Jack and Tony go at it. From Tony’s “every second you help the government you’re spitting on Teri’s grave” to Jack’s “so help me god I will kill you and you will stay dead this time,” the tragic bromance between these former BFFs was a joy to behold.
4. Deep Sky: Who knew that two little words could signify something so awesome? We all knew that Tony wasn’t really a villain, but the reveal came so early in the episode that no one could’ve seen it coming. Not to mention the circumstances behind it, either — sure, Tony’s a good guy, but he’s working for Bill Buchanan? Those two have come a long way since Bill was fooling around with Tony’s ex-wife.
5. Compliments to the Chloe: It takes Janis Gold to make one really appreciate Chloe O’Brien. Chloe’s opening words to Jack — that he “looked good” during the senate hearing — were pretty hilarious. In another life, Chloe, you guys would’ve made a great couple. Alright, maybe not.
6. Talking Torture: Torture has already taken on a central thematic role this season and the debates between Renee and Larry were definitely refreshing. Back in the day, Bill would’ve just told Jack to do whatever he had to do. This year, we’ll have to suffer through uptight suit Larry whining about the immorality of torture. (Dude, just get off the show.)
7. A Little Fight in Ya: Heartbreaking as it is, Jack subduing Renee was nonetheless pretty awesome. While it would’ve been nice to see them on the field for a little while longer, it’s very cool to have Jack go uber-renegade this early on.
8. Split Screen’d: Fantastic use of split screen during the escape sequence. Jack and Tony are on the bottom half of the screen, while security camera feed is on the top. It felt just like a video game.
9. Sweet Moves: Jack didn’t shock anyone with his ultimate driving skills, but how about Bill? That spin move with the van was totally killer. And you can’t forget Tony’s sweet long jump from the garage to the street. Shadow CTU is so hardcore.
10. Interior Design: Best. New. CTU. HQ. Ever. Seriously, are they in Washington or Madrid? The whole spy aspect of this show just got ratcheted up by a few thousand points.
11. Fan Service Pt. 1: Very wise of the writers to create a situation where the audience roots against the FBI. Honestly, just give us a situation where we root for Jack, Tony, Chloe and Bill and it won’t matter who else is on the show. But put us on stupid flippin’ Larry’s side and we’re gonna shut off the tube. Good call, wordsmiths!
12. Fan Service Pt. 2: Erica. Erica, Erica, Erica. That beautiful blonde FBI employee who briefly, oh-so briefly, asked Sean about his wife’s situation. Please come back, Erica. I want to, uh, talk to you. (I love you.)
13. Prime Meat: Talk about a hairy situation for Jack — having to kidnap the Prime Minister? It’s going to be interesting to see how Jack and Tony manage to get out of serious jail time by this season’s end.
14. The Son Falls in Sengala: Another tip of the hat to the writers — thank you, thank you, thank you for tying in the stupid dead son subplot into the main story. I already love Colm Feore, but now you’re giving me a relevant reason to watch him. Huzzah!
15. Walker, Washington Agent: Renee Walker further cemented herself as a sweet bad-ass by landing on Jack’s side of the torture debate. Putting the screws to the bed-ridden sniper proved her willingness to go the distance when necessary. Kudos to you, madame!
16. Fore!: Only Jack Bauer would try to break into a panic room with a golf club. The only thing more shocking is that he didn’t get in.
Things I Hated
1. Trim the Moss: FBI Agent Larry Moss is a toolbox. Nice bluetooth, weiner-dog. Can’t even take a punch. Did you see him reeling on the ground like a little dweebus after Jack knocked him out? One Punch Larry! I cannot wait for this guy to die.
2. Real Time?: The “Escape from FBI” scene was awesome, but the commercial lapse between the security alarms sounding and Jack and Tony’s next move was completely unrealistic. Ultimately a small complaint in what’s otherwise an awesome action scene.
3. DUMB: “Whoever this is, they’re very good.” Oh, Janeane. You, too, shall die a glorious death.
4. Waitasec…: So, alright, Tony is undercover, but he was a terrorist at one point? That’s a little far-fetched for me, personally. Yeah, I have a big bone-diddly for Almeida, but I still have a hard time buying that ol’ Soul Patch (err, Manboobs) would’ve gone bad for real. Whatever, ignored.
5. Stating the Obvious: The Presidential plotline continues teh suck. “Bauer?” cries the Shawshank warden. “I thought he was in the middle of a Senate investigative meeting!” Shut up, dude. That was the most poorly delivered line in seven seasons of 24. At least from a respected actor, that is. You can’t fault some of the other yo-yo’s on this show for not knowing how to act, but you, Mr. Shawshank, should know better.
6. Bad Bad Guy: This new villain Emerson kinda sucks. Keeping Bauer alive is such a rookie mistake, yet this guy is a team leader? I smell bullpoop. A real baddie would’ve popped one off in Jacky boy’s brain piece — only to find, of course, that Jack’s skull is laced with adamantium ala Wolverine.
7. Other Bad Bad Guy: The hospitalized shooter makes no sense. How does he know what Almeida’s next move is when Almeida himself doesn’t even know? Okay, so you say that this guy was higher-ranking than Tony — then what the heck is he doing waiting on a stupid rooftop with a sniper rifle? That’s not an upper management gig, that’s a glorified internship!
8. Billy Walsh: To say I hate Rhys Coiro’s Sean Hillinger is kind of harsh, considering I revere this actor as Billy Walsh on Entourage. Still, I just cannot see him as anything but Billy Walsh. It doesn’t help that is story sucks. His wife is on one of those planes? So what?! If this was the real Billy Walsh, he wouldn’t even have a wife. And the real Billy Walsh would kick this suit’s ass in a heartbeat. For further evidence, see below. (Not safe for work or for children!)
So ends the season premiere extravaganza! Come back every Tuesday morning for new installments of 24 Things I Hate/Love About 24!
